Wednesday, 23 November 2011

Just Another Online Dating Adventure :O)

Ok It’s been a while since I posted anything and I apologize for this.  I could give you a million and one reasons why, but it all really boils down to the fact that I just didn’t know how to explain this story to you and have you really understand why it bothers/interest me.  

This all happened about three weeks ago.  I was home checking my Hotmail to see if I had received anything interesting.  There was the normal junk, and a couple of comments about past blog postings and a couple of notices from an online dating site letting me know I had received a message.  I guess you could say I am a little OCD, when I see these notices I have to go to that site and delete the messages.  After my adventures this summer, I have decided to take a break from online dating, but I can’t bring myself to delete the account, not yet anyway.  So now my routine is to go on there and delete messages, my mind just won’t allow me to let them build up. Yes I know I know I am on the “special” side, but that’s ok, my mom tells me it makes me a catch :O) LOL

 When you get a message from someone on this site you can see their picture next to the message.  These days I normally don’t pay much attention to the pictures or the messages; again I am taking a break from all that online stuff.  Well on this particular day the picture caught my eye.  It didn’t have to do so much with the guy, but with the girl that was in the picture with him.  No no it isn’t what you think, I’m still interested in guys :O).  This girl looked very very familiar to me.  So I clicked on the picture and couldn’t believe my eyes.  The picture was of a girl I babysat when I was a teenager and the guy was her boyfriend!!!!!  I only knew he was her boyfriend because of all the pictures of him she has posted on her facebook.  I had never met him before but what she had said bout him in messages/postings and their pictures, it seemed like they were in a very serious long term relationship.  This made me curious, what could his message be about?  Were they (as a couple) on this dating site looking to add spice to their relationship?  Yes that was the first that came to mind, ONLY because there are a LOT of people who do that (just another lesson I learned this pass summer).  I couldn’t imagine the little girl that I babysat, could be looking for something like that.  My curiosity got the best of me and I opened the message and read it. 

I was sooooooo relieved to see that this wasn’t the case at all.  Little Sandy hadn’t grown up to be something that I didn’t even what to think about.  There actually wasn’t much to the message at all.  It was the same lazy message you see a lot on these sites.
 “Hey your cute.  We should hook up.” 
I know that he has no idea who I am and the only reason I know a little about who he is is because of my connection to his girlfriend on facebook.  If I hadn’t known who he was, more importantly who he was in a relationship with, I would have left it at that and deleted the message.  But again my mind doesn’t always turn off when I want it to.

I started thinking why would he be on a dating site if he is in a serious relationship?  Do guys go onto dating sites to ACTUALLY find someone or do they sometimes just want their egos rubbed?  Did she know what he was up to?  I was for sure not going to be the person to tell her.  I am not into destroying relationships in any way shape or form.  I know there are people out there who will say she should know if he is cheating or looking to cheat on her and I am not a good person to keep it from her.  The catch is I don’t really know what he was doing on that site.  Yes he may indeed be looking to step outside of their relationship, but than again maybe he just wanted to know girls could still interested in him.  Either way it isn’t my place to judge.  But I also didn’t want her to get hurt by him.  So I asked a couple of my guy friends what is the motive for dudes to go onto dating sites.  They all came back with a bunch of different reasons, like they are bored and just wants to chat, they want to keep all of their options open, and the list goes on and on.  At the very bottom of the list was that they were actually looking to meet girls.  They pretty well confirmed that girls (i.e. ME) waste a lot of time talking to guys on these sites who have NO interest in even having a date, let a lone finding a girlfriend.  One friend said I should reply and ask if he wanted to meet up with me, than I would know he is looking for more than an ego rub.  As much as I would like to be assured that Sandy isn’t going to get hurt by this guy, I am not about to put myself in the middle of it.  My curiosity wasn’t so much with this particular couple anymore as it was about guys in general and how they use these sites.  Also how girls feel about their partners having accounts on dating sites.  Do girls care if their guys are looking for a little ego boost?  Is there a line they expect their partner not to cross, e.g. Chatting is ok, but you can never meet?  Do girls use these sites for the same ego boost?  Also why or why would a dude post a picture of him and his girlfriend on a dating site?  Once again my head is spinning with questions, but no answers.  If you have any insight into this at all please let me know.

After leaving his message there for a whole week I went and deleted it.  I didn’t reply to it and I haven’t asked her how things are going with them.  I think the less I know about what is going on with them the better of we will all be.  BUT if he ever sent me a message again I would probably reply with something like “so how is Sandy doing these days?”  Just so he could know that I know.   


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