Tuesday, 11 October 2011

Oh the Smells a Single Nose will Smell

The last adult encounter I had was with my ex and that was way back in March 2011.  Since than I have only managed to have one not so great date and zero relationships.  Don’t get me wrong I am NOT looking to hook up with someone for a one night stand to fulfill a need of any sort.  But the need is still there none the less :Os 

I really didn’t notice anything was up until a couple of months ago.  What sparked my attention was that I started noticing every guy in Fort McMurray smelled amazing.  How could all the guys in this town smell soooooo good?  I mean really, with all the dirty jobs out there at least one of them had to be a stinky dude.  But no I couldn’t find one stinky guy.  When I realized that my smellers were working over time and liked every man that came with in smelling distance, I actually started to look for a stinky guy.  This wasn’t such a good idea.  No no I didn’t find a bunch of stinky people that made me want to puke.  I did however point out the fact that I must do something about this need or I just might get in trouble for going up to someone and sticking my nose on their neck and sucking off all of their man smell.  There were a couple of times that I thought I might not be able to control myself or my nose.   

One day I got into a crowded elevator in the provincial building and was standing next to this guy (I had/have no idea who he was).  I honestly couldn’t tell you what he looked like.  But I can tell you that he smelled like a combination of the woods, a little bit of soft cologne and sweet milky chocolate.  Holy it took every ounce of me not to tackle him right there, stick my nose on his neck and get a really really good wiff.  He didn’t know it, but he was lucky to be only going up a couple of floors.  I’m not sure I would have been able to control myself any longer than two floors.  Whoever you are, and if you are reading this, keep doing what you’re doing.  That was one of the best man smells ever.  It was like a drug I had a serious addiction too.  I almost followed him off the elevator, just so I could keep smelling him.

Another evening I was running on the track at MacDonald Island.  Over in the corner punching the boxing bags was this much older gentleman.  He had to be somewhere between 55 and 65 years old.  I didn’t think much of him until I ran past.  Holy moly, I thought the guy in the elevator smelled amazing.  Well that was nothing to how this man smelled.  Again I couldn’t tell you much about him only that he was an older man who boxes.  But boy oh boy that smell.  There aren’t even words to describe it.  I got goose bumps on my arms and even down the middle of my back.  It wasn’t a very good run for me that evening.  Every time I started to get close to him I would just start sucking in all of the air I could, just so I could get as much of that smell in before I went past him.  Not breathing properly while running isn’t a good idea.  I quickly turned as red as a cherry, tired out and couldn’t run any more.  But I also didn’t want to leave and no be able to take in any more of his amazing man smell.  So a very winded me started walking laps.  I think I must have been obvious or something with my breathing in as I went past him.  I am pretty sure I appeared crazy or something as he did look at me funny my last couple of laps.  Deciding that I didn’t want to appear as a crazy smelling stalker chick I finally left.  Looking back on it now, I should have left sooner, but at the same time I wish I could have bottled up his smell and took it home with me.  If it hadn’t been my crazy appearance I might have actually gone up to him and asked him what he was wearing.  But I thought that would only be adding to the crazy factor.  I figured that if I ever wanted to not be single again I should keep the crazy side on the down low.  However, with that said if any of you know who this man is please tell him he is the best smelling man ever and maybe ask him what he wears for me.

There were many many other encounters like these two for me.  I just couldn’t help but notice how good everyone smelled.  Lucky for me I was able to control my nose and didn’t get arrested for stalking anyone.  But I have to say it was the hardest couple of weeks ever.  I will say I did finally get it all of that out of my system.  How I managed to do it, is a story for another time ;O)

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